I have been very fortunate that my kid’s friends’ moms and I have a good time when we get together. Due to that bond, we made it a tradition that one Friday a month one mom hosts lunch, and we coordinate for the bus to drop our kids off close by. It’s a lot of fun for the kids because they all ride on the same bus and they play until nightfall. This is a great way to start the weekend.
This Friday as we were eating, we noticed that Sarah served herself less than usual and was picking at her food, while looking at what had been served with longing. When she noticed that she was doing this, she told us that her husband had let her know that she was overweight, which is why she now felt very self-conscious about her eating habits.
As mothers, wives, and friends we are here to support each other. We do everything we can to help others adjust their crowns and get through whatever happens. No judgment, just honest answers that might serve someone else well.
With this in mind and heart, all of us had something we could offer to Sarah. But the first thing we did was congratulate her. She was already taking steps to improve her food intake, and she was realizing how much she needed to eat vs. what she wanted to eat. That is a great first step.
All of us sitting at that table had our struggles with losing weight or gaining it. Each of us was finding a solution that would serve us well individually. Not all of us could go to the gym, and not all of us had fantastic metabolisms, but we did have something that worked for us.
We then decided that we would all share our success habits or tips, and Sarah could pick and choose what she thought would work best for her. What we all agreed upon though, is that the secret to success is consistency. Whatever Sarah decided to do, she was going to have to make it a habit or else she would not achieve the results she wanted, no matter what tips she decided upon.
We all knew it was time to adjust Sarah’s crown and help her deal with the emotional effect that not being in shape can cause.
Tip 1: Deciding to lower your BMI is a psychological factor necessary for success.
Having other people comment negatively on your weight is very hard, especially if it is someone you love. For Sarah, it was hard that her husband would mention it. She knew she had gained some pounds, but she didn’t think it was that bad.
We helped Sarah understand that it is important to understand if someone is providing this type of observation out of love or critically. If it is ill criticism, brush it to one side and you do your own thing. But if you know that it is something that you can improve, talk it out with your friends, just like Sarah was doing today. We let her know this, and she said that her husband had said it in both ways and that was what made her start changing her eating habits.
Let the knowledge that you are going to do something about your BMI empower you. Whatever it takes for you to take action is a blessing because you are going to be doing something good for you and in turn that will positively affect your children, your relationships, and your overall well-being. Good for you!
BMI Tip 2: Identifying the parts of your body you want to work on
We all asked her where it was she felt the most weight gain and she showed us her hips and thighs. Catherine, one of the other moms, is a very active woman. She is the type that cannot sit still, and she always has to be doing something. By the time the rest of us have just gotten out of bed, she has already gone and come back from an hour-long cardio session at the gym! Catherine said that Sarah should join Jasmin and me for walks because walking is a low impact activity and it does provide results.
I have been walking about 3 times a week now for over 2 years in the neighborhood. My husband has told me that my body is getting stronger. At one point I had run into Jasmin as I walked at the park and we decided to walk together. The good thing about that was that our kids had an hour at the park almost every day while we did our exercise.
Lowering BMI Tip 3: Understand what is under your control and was is not
Feeling self-conscious is horrible but it can be turned into a positive. If you feel that you don’t look the way you should, or that there are things about you that you don’t like, then you have to see what you can do about it. If there is something you can do about it, then do it; if there is nothing you can do about it, then do the best you can to accept it as part of your way of living.
For example, you can do something about it if you get freckles from too much sun. You can either stay out of the sun or use appropriate sunscreen protection. If this does not work, you can talk with a dermatologist for advice. There are different ways that you can work around your freckles.
Something that you can do something about is, for example, diabetes. That is a condition that you have and that you must take care of. The field of medicine has yet to find a complete cure for it, but in the meantime, you can control it if you take the appropriate care. If you do something about it, GREAT! If you do not… well, that is under your control.
For Sarah, she knew that exercising is under her control. She used to walk in the mornings with Catherine, then decided that she did not want to do it anymore. She consciously took it out of her routine. She knows it’s up to her to bring it back. This time she has two choices, to walk with Catherine in the morning or walk with Jasmine and me in the afternoon. Whatever works best for her.
Lowering BMI has a lot to do with consistency and the desire to do it. You must find your desire. For some people the desire comes from wanting to look better, for others it is to please someone else, and for others, it is a question of challenging themselves. The key is finding what motivates you and allows you to become consistent. For me, knowing that my son has time outside with nature, with friends and no electronics is enough motivation for me to walk an hour a day at least 3 times a week.